Surprise book! Surprise! I wrote an ebook when nobody was expecting it. Like a ninja. Except with words. ‘Nocturne’ is a new dark spanking romance from yours truly. Yes, it is M/F (man spanks woman), or rather it is V/F (vampire spanks woman), but I don’t think any of us should let that get in our way. Gender is just a chromosomal construct created by a misogynistic and misandrist Universe. Screw that universe.
Anyway, I think you’ll enjoy this. I sure enjoyed penning it with my keyboard.
“Yea, though I have made my home in the valley of the dead, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy cup of tea and orange crème bikkie succor me,” I murmured to myself giddily as I began the 11th hour of an 8 hour shift.
I wasn’t complaining, work was quiet, cool, sterile. Absent of the living, just the way I liked it.
Finishing up the remainder of my biscuits, I washed my hands, stretched on a fresh pair of opalescent thick green rubber gloves and made my way down the rows of silent bodies shrouded in white hospital linens. My rubber soled shoes muted the sound of my steps, denying the large metal cavern the echo it craved.
Some people think that mortuaries are creepy, but they’re really no more creepy than your average garden patch and I’m no different from any avid boatanist. It’s just that instead of petunias and cabbage, I examine carbon shells as they slowly return to the stuff from which they came.
“Got another one for you, Wednesday,” the intercom on the wall crackled into life, disturbing the silence.
“Ready,” I replied briskly, pressing the little red button. I was always ready for the dead.
I heard the elevator open in the distance, and then the familiar click, clack, crunch of the gurney making its way towards me. One wheel was perpetually stuck, but nobody seemed inclined to fix it. It wasn’t anybody’s job to do so. In a small city hospital, nothing gets done unless it’s somebody’s job. I counted myself lucky that squeaky gurney wheels were about the sum total of my troubles.
It took a moment or two for the orderly, a staunch fellow who never seemed quite at ease down here in the bowels of the hospital, to arrive with the gurney.
“DOA. Jane Doe, cause of death unknown,” he said, his eyes fastened on my face, not because I’m particularly beautiful, but because focusing on the living helps people ignore death, even when it is quite literally being pushed before them just a few inches under their noses.
From the cradle to the grave we walk a tight rope above the abyss, most of us too scared to gaze into the perpetual void that accompanies us every hour. I was not afraid of death anymore, merely curious. Steve, on the other hand, still had his eyes tightly shut to his own mortality.
You are seriously adorable lol. I love your “Surprise book! Surprise!” You make me grin. Maybe you can teach me to be like a ninja? And I just wanna say…if I were bad at math, I’d be screwed lol, cuz I wouldn’t be able to comment. So your spam protection makes me laugh. Maybe that’s where all the other cool people are..trying to figure out the sum of 3+9.
I will totally teach you how to be a ninja, but only if you stop laughing at my spam protection, because you’re giving it body image issues.
Hehe, okay, I won’t laugh at your spam protection anymore. I don’t want it to have poor self-esteem. Is there a way I can make it tell me when someone has commented after me? Cuz otherwise I don’t know if someone’s replied unless I go back and look…and I’m bad about that. I bet I can set it up on my settings page..I’ll go check.
You might be able to set it up on your settings page, I agree, it would be nice to tell if you had replies. Let me know how you go, and if it does not work, then I’ll see if I can find a plug in that helps.
I didn’t look, I got distracted. Easy to do on your website.
I’m checking now..
I can’t see a way to do it other than to subscribe to the feed for your comments. I’d do that, but it says it automatically downloads new comments to my computer, and unfortunately, I share this computer with a roommate. I’d rather not share my spanko tendencies with her lol. When I live by myself again, it’ll be no big deal, but right now… *grin*
I already had a heck of a time keeping her from opening the wicker chest in my bedroom with all of my paddles/straps/vibrators. “Yes, it IS a pretty chest. No, we cannot put it in the living room, even though it would add to the decor. NO, NO, DON’T OPEN IT!! The um, hinges are very, um, particular. Yes, I SHOULD have that fixed. There’s nothing in there but cat toys. Right. Cat toys. For the, um, cats. That’s it, yes.” Roommates are exhausting.
I thoroughly enjoyed this ebook. Is there anything you can’t write about, with what comes across as such natural ease and grace? I was very fortunate to have stumbled across your site accidently. It has been a great source of fun and joy. I hope others get as much from it as I did. Thank you again for all that you have done for your audience.
Slan agat